


The Littlest Avenger

by Bam4Me



Series: Amber's Birthday Gifts [2]
Category: Avengers, Captain America, Iron Man - Fandom
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, De-aged tony, Gen, M/M, go love amber, its Amber's birthday, steve and howard used to be married, toddler!tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-21 01:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4809500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bam4Me/pseuds/Bam4Me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve was never frozen, and Bucky was recovered from HYDRA. But, Steve went on to marry Howard, which had been a mistake on both their parts. Unfortunately though, neither of them realized that until they had a two year old boy, and a long and coming divorce to settle between them. Howard had no standing in this settlement though. His husband was Captain America the sweetheart of American culture, and he was the hardass drunk who ran Stark Industries.</p><p>So, of course, Steve walked away with enough to live comfortably and not work until Tony was at least twenty, which was nice because his little boy kept him busy. Steve wasn’t trying to live off of Howard, he just couldn’t stand the thought of being away from his little boy right now, and Tony was clingy enough to let him.</p><p>About forty years later though, and Steve Barnes (nee Rogers, after his marriage to Bucky Barnes, the best friend who stuck by his side to help him raise a bratty little boy, and picked up the broken pieces that Howard had left behind) had almost forgotten just how much he didn’t miss having the worlds clingiest child ever. You know, until his baby got turned back into his baby on national television…</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Littlest Avenger

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Usheryes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Usheryes/gifts).



> Amber's birthday is today (spet. 16th) and I am broke. So, I decided to instead, making my lovely sister a fic. (Well, two.) Either way, make sure you wish her a happy birthday and follow her on tumblr! (usheryes.tumblr.com)

“Sweetie, _sweetie_ you’re going to hurt yourself! Baby, sweetheart, just please-“

 

“Daddy! I’m 43 years old!”

 

“In the body of a toddler!”

 

Tony stopped, no longer trying to get a shirt off the hanger in his closet (which would _not_ have turned out well, because those shirts were bigger than he was, he was currently standing on a box, and Jarvis had tattled on him to Steve that he was doing things he shouldn’t have been.

 

Rude of you, Jarvis, Tony was going to reprogram you. As soon as he could reach a consol…

 

He felt Steve’s big hands scoop him up, one under each arm pit, making Tony squall for a moment before his father settled his (naked) body on his hip. “Come on, Pumpkin, Papa has clothes that will actually fit you, back in our room. This bedroom is a hazard to your health when it _did_ fit you, I’m worried to even leave you alone in here while little.”

 

Tony squawked as Steve brought him right outside the door. Daddy, Tony is _naked_ right now, excuse you! At least when they brought him home, he had an oversized shirt to hide in. Steve just chuckled though, ignoring the few milling around (just Clint and Thor though) before making his way over to his and Bucky’s room also on the Penthouse floor.

 

Tony just settled back in Steve’s hold, looking grumpy. “Rhodey never complains about my room.”

 

Steve grinned down at him, “That’s because Rhodey doesn’t currently live in it with you. Have you ever noticed that when he’s not on duty and home with you, your living quarters are suspiciously scrubbed clean?”

 

Tony glared up at the man while Steve pushed the bedroom door open with one hip, a smile on his face. “I don’t see your point, Daddy. You make no sense.”

 

Steve grinned at his husband sitting on the bed with a dozen or so bags in front of him. Either Pepper or Phil did that, because they were the only ones in the tower other than Natasha with some sort of efficiency to them, and Natasha was still at SHIELD filling out paper work about the incident. She had apparently been the only one to see it in person, which Tony had been informed of after he’d woken up later with Bruce poking at his ribs and declaring him a healthy two year old.

 

Of course, not that no one else saw the incident. Just, that, everyone else had watched it over the live news feed, which was probably circulating all over the world right now.

 

 

Bucky smiled up at them and held out his hands for Steve to hand Tony over. “You know, I never thought we’d have to dress a squirmy two year old again. Oh how that thought was wrong. Aww, cutie, don’t give me that grumpy look, you look like a vexed kitten.”

 

Tony kicked out a little, making Bucky grunt when one small foot connected with his stomach before the little boy settled down in his arms. Steve took over looking through the bags before pulling back with a smile, a small set of clothes in his hands.

 

Together, the two super soldiers managed to squirm the toddler into a yellow shirt and red underoos, before getting the wriggling little boy into a set of overalls. “Are you gonna let Daddy put socks on you, muffin?”

 

Tony would have rolled his eyes at the nicknames, but, to be honest, Steve had never stopped calling him those his whole life, and so instead, Tony sat back against Bucky’s chest, one little hand playing with the silver metal of Bucky’s left hand while glaring at Steve. “I doesn’t know, Daddy. You think you can get me into a pair of socks?”

 

Steve got a sparkle in his eyes that showed just how much he was going to take that as a challenge, before proceeding to do so. It actually took a lot longer than both of them expected, even if Bucky was restraining the excitable boy.

 

“See, sweetheart, your socks even have grippies on the feet so you can walk without tripping.”

 

Bucky mumbled out a small, “Not that they would necessarily help, since our clumsy boy could trip over air.”

 

Tony turned in his arms to give the his other dad a glare, which looked way too cute. Bucky just grinned and leaned in to press a raspberry to one puffed out cheek. Not even Tony could hold back a giggle at that, pulling away with a loud squeal.

 

There was a bright flash coming from behind them and they both looked back to see Steve staring at his phone with a smile. “My boys. So sweet, no one would even know that you two are the most evil creatures in existence.”

 

Bucky just smiled and cuddled the little boy back down into his lap, “Why are we evil, punk?”

 

Steve sighed dramatically, “Stealing my heart! You two just live to torture me, don’t you?”

 

Tony nodded his head dramatically, “Yeah, Daddy.”

 

Steve smiled again, holding his arms out for the little boy to come into his lap again, “Come on, I bet that Phil has rounded up everyone else in the kitchen to feed an army. I bet that even your lovely but absent husband will make an appearance within the next day or so.”

 

Tony rolled his eyes but willingly went to Steve, letting the man carry him to some much needed sustenance.

 

***

 

“Please and thank you, miss ‘Tasha.”

 

All of the Avengers gave the little boy in Steve’s lap a look of horror. They’d never heard him use those words without either prompting from one of his parents, or a life or death situation. Or coffee, but even those were rare.

 

“Oh god, Steve, did he hit his head or something? Is he okay? Bruce, I thought you said he was okay?”

 

Steve tried to answer Clint’s questions, but was quickly interrupted by another booming voice. “The son of our leaders is dying! He must be!”

 

Steve rolled his eyes that time, “Thor, he’s not dying. Tony’s always had the best of manners. He just kind of lost them after age fourteen.”

 

Bucky let out a snort, “Lost them. Right. What Steve means, is that he started cussing too much, and Tony’s always been an imitator, and so Tony forgot what manners _were_.”

 

Steve made an inarticulate noise, “Hey! I did not-“

 

Bucky snickered and imitated his husband before feeling a tiny foot kick him in the thigh. He looked down at the toddler and poked him in his own thigh in retaliation.

 

“S’not nice to made fun, Papa. Daddy says so.”

 

Steve just beamed at that, looking so damn smug while his husband shot the baby an offended look. “That’s right, Tones, Daddy does say that making fun isn’t nice. You know what else isn’t nice? Papa stinks, he needs to go take a shower.”

 

Tony snickered at that and nodded, “That’s right, Papa should go take a shower while those of us with polite manners have dinner.”

 

It was discerning for most in the room to hear such good grammar come out of such a little boy, but Bucky and Steve were used to it. Tony had always been a young start on most things. Bucky just let out a huff though. “I’ll leave you two to your scheming when I’m done eating, don’t worry your pretty little heads about it.”

 

Steve finally turned back to the oversized plate in front of him and Tony that was sitting in front of them, letting the little boy in his arms demandingly pick out what he wanted to eat.

 

***

 

It was Phil that brought it up.

 

“Steve.”

 

Steve stopped, standing still in the hallway back to his and Bucky’s room, Tony still snoozing on his shoulder. Just as he should be. “Yeah, Phil?”

 

Phil looked at Tony’s little body for a moment before going back to Steve, “How old was Tony when he learned to regularly walk?”

 

Steve looked down at Tony before flushing a little. “Uh, he was toddling about at, I guess, twenty months.”

 

Phil nodded, “Yet, you haven’t let go of him once.”

 

“Not true, I’ve given him over to Bucky a few times-“

 

“Who is your trusted partner and the man that Tony calls, ‘Papa.’”

 

Steve paused for a moment, “I just… I can’t right now.”

 

Phil nodded, “Which is why I’m talking to you about it now. What I’m wondering, is if I need to schedule you an appointment with one of the therapists at SHIELD, for when you _do_ eventually put him down, or are forced to put him down, and freak out over it.”

 

Steve could feel Tony snuffling against his neck and reached up his free hand to rub the little boy’s back, soothing him back into a calm state. Steve just blinked at the floor for a little longer though. “I just, I can’t put him down right now, Phil. If I can’t feel him, can’t, see him-“

 

“You’ll be worried he’s not really there.”

 

Steve nodded, turning to nuzzled into Tony’s soft curls. “He’s so fucking little, right now. What if he gets hurt like this? Tony was always a resilient baby, but, he also used to break bones a lot as a kid. Oh god, Phil, what if this was just a failed attempt to kill him and they try again? He’s just a little boy, he couldn’t-“

 

“Steve, breath.”

 

Steve pulled in a shuddering breath, both hands on the little body in his arms.

 

Fuck, no. He couldn’t lose Tony too. Not now, not ever.

 

Phil nodded to himself, “I think it would be good for you to talk to someone. I can schedule for a therapist to come to the tower tomorrow, use one of the empty offices on the eighth floor and have a session there.”

 

Steve nodded before pausing. “The eighth floor is where we keep the daycare for the workers children?”

 

Phil nodded, “Dr. Strange says he might be like this for a while. I figured it might be a good idea to let him socialize with others his own size, in a safe environment of course.”

 

Steve started swaying with Tony when he heard a soft snore in his ear, smiling, “You know he’s not a real baby, right? He remembers that he’s an adult.”

 

Phil nodded, “And yet, he has a distinctly infantile mind in him. At least, as infantile as Tony Stark can be, with that brain of his.”

 

Steve huffed out a small laugh, “Of course. Daddy’s little boy will always be the smartest little boy.”

 

Phil smiled and nodded back, “Of course he is.”

 

***

 

Back in their room though, Bucky laid down on the cleared bed next to his husband, who was laying down with their son on his chest. Tony was in the cutest little footie pajamas, Pepper had found a pair that looked like Iron Man, and Steve had put them on his with an unrivaled glee about him. Bucky had ended up taking pictures of that.

 

Bucky cringed when he spotted one tiny thumb in Tony’s mouth, before moving back to one of the bags to find a soother to replace it with. Tony looked even cuter curled up on his daddy with a pacifier with Steve’s shield on it. Damn cute, is what that was.”

 

Bucky laid down next to the other man and sighed, “Are you gonna let go of him any time soon?”

 

“Tomorrow. I promised Phil, I’ll let go tomorrow.”

 

Bucky nodded and leaned into Steve’s side tiredly, “I’ll hold you to that.”

 

“Good, because I’m not sure if I can.”

 

***

 

“He looked like the poster child for Oshkosh B’gosh.”

 

That was the first thing that Clint had said after coming into the kitchen, to find Tony standing on Steve’s thighs in overalls, pulling bites of food off the end of Steve’s fork with his teeth and one hand on Steve’s shoulder to steady himself. Tony had given Clint an odd look but ignored him for the most part, focusing on making sure Steve didn’t sneak him anything healthy while his dad fed him.

 

“He did a photo shoot for them once. The first time around. I think he was like, three? That right Steve?”

 

Steve nodded at his husband, “Yes. It made his father very angry. Which at the moment, made me very happy.”

 

Phil frowned, “Why would that make Howard angry?”

 

Steve shrugged before his attention was caught by Tony again, who was eyeing up the sausage on Bruce’s plate. Steve chucked and grabbed a sausage off the plate on the table and cut off a child-bite sized piece to feed to Tony. “I think he thought Oshkosh was too plebian for his little boy. This was before he stopped actually caring what I did with Tony, though. I’m pretty sure he only cared about how much he hated the idea of the Stark name being connected with an affordable brand of all things. I just think Tony looks cute in overalls.”

 

Tony wrinkled his nose before leaning in to steal more sausage off of Steve’s fork.

 

***

 

“He’s going to fall in those-“

 

“Steve, you’ll be late for your appointment-“

 

Steve easily evaded Phil’s guiding hand on his arm, still looking at the colourful play mat that Tony had been set on. He was supposed to be talking to a therapist right now, but Tony just looked so… tiny. Most of the other kids in the daycare room looked… older.

 

“But he’s just so… maybe I shouldn’t go, Phil. Or, at least, maybe Tony could come in with me-“

 

“No. Tony will be fine, I’m staying here the whole time he is, just go.”

 

Steve was no-so-politely shoved into another room before Phil shut the door on them, before turning back the room where Tony was.

 

Tony, though, already seemed absorbed in a game where he was building something with the colourful legos on the floor in front of him. Phil suspected that it might be a small model of Iron Man.

 

Well, one thing had been accomplished that hour.

 

They got Steve to willingly pass Tony off to someone other than Bucky.

 

***

 

“I don’t know why, but I expected him to be, more…”

 

“Evil?”

 

“Yeah, that.”

 

Bruce snickered at Clint, who was leaning in the doorway while they watched Tony, sitting on Bucky’s stomach and playing with a teddy bear. Bucky, though, seemed content to just nap until whenever, letting his son have free roam on top of him.

 

“Oh my god, is that a vintage Bucky Bear?”

 

Clint jumped a little at the quiet voice. He was pretty sure his boyfriend had a blood hounds nose, built entirely for sniffing out Captain America memorabilia. It was weird, considering the fact that they all lived with him.

 

“I think it is.”

 

Bruce came further into the room and stepped up behind the couch. “Hey, Tony. What’s that?”

 

Tony looked up with a bright smile, “This is Papa Bear.”

 

He reached down and grabbed something wedged under Bucky’s side and pulled out another bear, this one dressed in the vintage suit that Cap had worn in WWII. “This is Daddy Bear.”

 

Bruce grinned and Bucky let out a small snore, “Wow, Tony. Is there a Baby Bear for them?”

 

Tony hummed before turning around on Bucky’s stomach and crawling down to grab a third bear, this one wearing an Iron Man suit. He ended up with his knee in Bucky’s crotch just as he grabbed it though and Bucky sat straight up, making Tony tumble into Bucky’s lap. Bucky let out a small groan while Clint laughed behind them all, and Tony just giggled at the tired, slightly pained look on Bucky’s face.

 

Bucky cracked open one eye, looking down at Tony with a pained expression. “Gosh, I just love children.”

 

***

 

“He’s so quiet. Are you sure he’s not broken?”

 

Steve let out a snort at that, not looking up from his magazine, “It’s not a quiet thing. He’s always had a thing about the mouth.”

 

“What?”

 

Steve sighed and stopped reading, “He has a major oral fixation. It’s not even that he needs something in his mouth, he just always needs to be doing _something_ with it. He’s quiet now because he’s got a pacifier in, but even then, trust me, he can talk around one of those.”

 

“Then why’s he so quite?”

 

Steve glared at Clint before pointing at Tony, who was standing in front of the tv, eyes glued to the screen while teletubbies danced. It was creepy.

 

“Look at him, Clint. He’s watching tv. I bet that if you tried to pull him away before he was ready to leave it, he’d throw a fit. In fact, I _know_ it. If the pacifier wasn’t in, he wouldn’t be any louder, he’d just be drooling instead.”

 

Clint made a screwed up face like he didn’t get it. Phil sighed, “Ignore him, Steve, he doesn’t understand the concept of not talking because you like something.”

 

“No, he does not.”

 

***

“Steve, why’s Tony’s bed emp-“

 

“If you wake him, I’ll kill you.”

 

Bucky stopped in front of his and Steve’s bed. Steve was leaning back against the pillows, one arm wrapped around Tony’s tiny, curled up, sleeping body. It was fudging cute is what it was.

 

“You, uh, you gonna sleep tonight?”

 

Steve seemed to think that one over, “If you lay down, I can pass him off to you, and take him back when I’m lying down.”

 

Bucky made a humming noise, “You already try to deposit him in his own bed?”

 

“Once. It did not go well.”

 

Bucky sighed and went to get some pajamas on. “Okay.”

 

***

 

“You, uh… looking a little tired there, Cap.”

 

Steve glared at Phil, absently feeding the tiny boy in his lap while attempting to sleep sitting up. Tony seemed to think this was an okay option, simply guiding Steve’s hand with his own so he didn’t end up with eggs in his ear.

 

Bucky came into the room, relaxed, well rested and wearing civvies. He grinned at his worn down husband before plucking the toddler out of his lap. “Okay, Papa’s turn to watch this little terror. Daddy gets a day off today.”

 

Tony and Steve both looked at Bucky like he was crazy. Neither of them had been consulted on this. Tony was perfectly fine to sit on Daddy all day, thank you very much, _you can put me back, Papa_.

 

Steve was simply just not ready to let go of that tiny little boy yet.

 

But… his bed was calling to him…

 

He only needed four hours, max. He’d be awake by ten, have his baby back by noon, at the latest. Yeah, he could do this.

 

He let out a long sigh, pushing back from the table. “If you lose him, I won’t be held responsible for the acts I’ll commit.”

 

Bucky grinned, “Gotcha, Captain! Anyone else want to go to the zoo with me and the baby?”

 

They heard a possible crash come from the kitchen before Thor came into the room, looking very excitable. “The zoo, I would love to go!”

 

Natasha seemed to melt out from the walls, standing next to Bucky with a reassuring smile, “Don’t worry, Steve. I’ll keep them all in line.”

 

Steve smiled and leaned in to press a kiss to Tony’s forehead, “You stay good for Papa, okay sweetie?”

 

Tony grumbled something unintelligible behind the pacifier, looking a little annoyed, but nodded anyways, moving around so he was playing with Bucky’s prosthetic fingers.

 

***

 

When they got down to the first floor, there was a huge stroller and diaper bag waiting for them next to the front desk.

 

“Are we walking?”

 

Bucky hummed, putting a squirming Tony into the jogging stroller and strapping him in. He handed the boy a few toys from the diaper bag, a sippy cup of juice he’d snagged from the kitchen, and closed the netting around the bubble where Tony was sitting in. “Yeah. It’s nice out, I figured a walk to the zoo would be nice. At the very least, it’ll give us enough time to wait Steve out till he’s asleep.”

 

Also, this way, Tony’s nap might coincide with them walking home, which would also be good, but he knew better than to say that in Tony’s earshot.

 

He did know one thing he _could_ say to Tony though.

 

“Hey, Tones. You know who’s going to be here later today?”

 

Tony looked up at him curiously through the netting, shrugging his shoulders. “Who, Papa?”

 

“Only your favoritest human being ever.”

 

Tony let out a small gasp, attempting to stand in the stroller while Bucky navigated them out the door, before being pulled back down by the straps, “Rhodey? My Rhodey? He comes to see his Tony, now?”

 

Bucky laughed a little, “No, not yet, Tones. Not till after nap time.”

 

Tony let out a pout, “But why not now?”

 

“He’s just not here yet, bud. He’ll be by soon, though. Until then though, we have lots of animals that want to see you at the zoo.”

 

Tony sat back, the sippy cup in his mouth and a determined look on his face.

 

His Rhodey was going to be here soon.

 

***

 

You know, Steve had planned on sleeping for four hours.

 

He’s not quite sure why he’d woken up about seven later, and slightly disoriented.

 

He didn’t even _need_ seven, he could easily get by with four.

 

But now, here he was, stumbling back into the kitchen, at one in the afternoon while he listened to the sounds of a Mario Kart marathon in the living room.

 

From the sounds of it, Thor was a giant cheater, and Clint was crying on the floor.

 

So, regular day then.

 

He sat down at the kitchen island with a groan and put his head in his hands.

 

“You okay, Steve?”

 

Steve looked up to see Phil standing next to the stove with a cup of tea in hand and frowned. “I feel great. Where’s my baby?”

 

“Your husband went to go wake him up from his nap, lest he not be awake when the good Colonel gets here.”

 

Steve snorted, wiping the fuzz out of his eyes.

 

“See here, Daddy’s awake now, you can unlatch on me and go to him, right?”

 

Bucky came into the room with a bleary eyed looking little boy, who was glaring at anything and everything. Bucky tried to pass him off onto Steve, but the little boy seemed to have sore feelings about that morning, refusing to uncling from Bucky. Bucky sighed. “Okay, little one, you can stay with Papa. But I’m sure Papa will pale in comparison to finally getting to see Rhodey again, right?”

 

Tony did perk up a little at that. He hadn’t seen Rhodey in a really long time.

 

Sometimes Steve and Bucky questioned their decision to be married while Rhodey was still on army bases so often, but they actually got to see each other more often than not. Besides, they both seemed married to their work as well, and didn’t complain about their decisions.

 

But, that doesn’t mean they didn’t get excited when they got to see each other.

 

The elevator dinged out in the hallway, and Bucky stuck his head out to see who it was. “Oh, hey, we know him. Tones, look who’s here!”

 

Bucky nearly fell over when the toddler in his arms suddenly decided he was an acrobat, flinging himself towards Rhodey with both arms open, a lot like he usually did when he was a grown up. The only differences being, that Tony was small enough to not weasel out of Bucky’s arms right now, and that Tony would have made that jump easily as a grown up.

 

Bucky and Steve’s hearts raced though at seeing Tony trying to fling himself out of Bucky’s arms. Bucky calmed down fast enough and let Rhodey carefully take Tony out of his arms, going to sit with Steve while he had a small heart attack quietly.

 

Tony was oblivious to all of them though, rambling on behind his pacifier about how much he had missed Rhodey and was so excited about him being there.

 

***

 

“But, you don’t even want to give Daddy a kiss goodnight, my babe?”

 

Tony stayed firmly planted on Rhodey’s lap, but did reach out on grabby hand for Steve to come in and press a wet smack on Tony’s cheek.

 

Steve pulled back, feeling greatly humored, “He doesn’t even love me anymore. Rhodes, I might have to off you.”

 

Rhodey smirked, “Nah, just go off and enjoy an adult night without a little boy interrupting halfway through.”

 

Steve raised an eyebrow, “Not had a _halfway through_ for a whole week. Was on a mission before Tony got babified, and he’s been sleeping with us every night since.”

 

Rhodey let out a loud laugh and cuddled Tony closer, “Well, off with you, then. He’s mine until I have to go back to work in three months.”

 

“He’s not gonna be little _that_ long. Dr. Strange said two weeks, at most.”

 

“Doesn’t mean you can’t get an early start.”

 

Steve nodded and pulled back, looking determined, “I’m gonna go nail my husband into a mattress.”

 

“That’s the spirit!”

 

***

 

“You know, I once said you were fun sized… I am taking back that statement. _Now_ you’re fun sized.”

 

Tony gave a pretty impressive glare for someone who was currently being taking out of a stroller. Rhodey just gave an evil smirk and put the boy on his hip before walking into the SHIELD ground building’s medical center. Tony started squirming on his as soon as he knew where he was.

 

Excuse you, Tony did not approve any requests to poke at him today.

 

***

 

“Heh, forty years later and he still finds this amusing.”

 

Bucky just grinned and lifted up his prosthetic again, chuckling when Tony squealed, still holding onto it for dear life. He was just so tiny and adorable.

 

Steve grinned and put both hands under Tony to catch him when he dropped off, “Yeah. I’m sure he would probably do it as an adult if he weren’t so preoccupied with not looking like a dork in front of cameras.”

 

Tony turned in his dad’s grip to look up at Steve, “I’m not a dork.”

 

“Yes, sweetheart, you are the biggest dork.”

 

Tony turned away to grab at Bucky’s arm again, giggling out, “Nuh-uh. Daddy’s the dork.”

 

“I’m not denying that, just saying, that, so are you.”

 

“Long as I’m not the only one.”

 

***

 

“Do you want kids?”

 

Phil gave Clint a horrified look, shaking his head slowly, letting out a relived sigh when Clint muttered out a small, “Oh thank god.”

 

They both turned back to the living room, watching a sleep deprived Steve with Tony sitting on his chest, colouring on his dosing father’s face with a sharpie.

 

No no, they didn’t need kids. They were fine without.

 

***

 

When Tony was back to his adult self again, the whole room knew it. Though, that probably had to do with the fact that when he’d first gotten bigger, while in Rhodey’s arms, sending them both to the ground with an impressive crash, there had been a lot of screaming.

 

When the two of them finally untangled themselves (and Rhodey finally got Tony’s tongue out of his mouth, that had been unexpected) Tony had been in front of the coffee maker in the kitchen before any of them could blink.

 

“Oh my god, is that really his first thought? Coffee?”

 

Rhodey pulled himself off the ground and shook his head, “No, his first thought was to get his tongue in my mouth, but coffee will always be a close second.”

 

Steve was in the doorway to the kitchen when Tony turned around, a mug in hands and grinning at it like it had asked to marry him (and we know this, because he grinned just like that when Rhodey asked to marry him.)

 

Steve grinned at Tony before letting out the loudest sigh, “ _Oh thank the dark lord Satan, I can cuss like a motherfucker now! Praise be his dark name, I made it!_ ”

 

Bruce and Thor gave Steve an appalled look while Tony just snorted, “Fucking told you guys he’s who I learned it from. But, no, no one listens to Tony.”

 

Steve gave him and fond look and came into the room, pressing his lips to Tony’s forehead, “You know, I really love you, sweetheart, but you were the clingiest baby. I’m pretty sure I only slept twice while you were little.”

 

Tony smiled back, “Sorry, Daddy.”

 

Steve just grinned and pulled back, “I’m going to go have sex, and then sleep for the next eight hours.”

 

“Have fun!”

 

Tony settled back to enjoy his coffee, which he had sorely missed, before looking up at the quiet room. “What?”

 

Clint’s eye twitched, “That’s not the normal reaction to parents telling their kids about sex.”

 

Tony’s eyebrows scrunched up, before he laughed. “Bunch of prudes.”

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to wish Amber a happy birthday and follow her on tumblr (usheryes.tumblr.com)


End file.
